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Hayley07

Life is a mess

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So my life is a mess, About a  year ago I put money on an online gambling website thinking I'll win loads of money, i have a good job it's average pay, I work my arse off and at the end of the month I have nothing to show for it expect tears and that horribale feeling in my stomach. I've gambled a lot and hid it from my gf she's finally found out and begged me too stop, I though I could get a hold on it but I was so wrong, it's got to the point were I'm spending literally all my wage the same day I get paid and having nothing left with in a couple of hours, the more I put it the more I think I'm going to win it back.I'm 27 never though at this age I would be in such a mess, cant save for a house which my patner wants, I keeping letting her down and breaking her heart, it's took me so long to realise it's became a big problem,today I gamble 600 on online slots  I thought I had it sorted paid for driving lessons, bought a couple of things I was flying then I sat down for five minutes and though I could win what I've spent on joining a new casino website "beginners luck" the more I put it the more I lost the more I put it again, so I'm left with 20 for the rest of the month no money to get to work no money to pay for food for work, no social life again, made plans with friends now I'm going to have to tell another lie as I can't go, this is a dreadful feeling,  the worst part about it is I've told my gf and now she's can't deal with this anymore which she is right I'm a mess and can't be trusted with money anymore, that's over best thing that's happened to me and I chose to gamble instead. 

I hate this feeling and want this all to stop but I just don't know how, I'm embarrassed and ashamed to tell anyone so o thought maybe this could work 

 

Edited by Hayley07

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Hi Hayley07,

I think the best practical thing you can do in this stage is to let go of the control of your finances - i.e. let your girlfriend control your finances - so whenever you get paid you won't have any ACCESS to the money but she would instead (and if you don't trust her then do it with your parents/siblings etc. although it sounds you love her and trust her, and the trust issues come from you).

You cannot allow yourself to get money because you would spend it - if you arrest the addiction then you won't be able to gamble, at least not without cash in your hands, right? (or debit/credit card or whatever it is that you have).

Also spending money on slots is the worst form of gambling out there - but sportsbetting is the same bad concept, it's just not risking money on really poor odds, but either way gambling itself is bad - but you know that already and agree with that - you just can't control something that got a control over you.

That's why if you won't have access to your next paycheck and would allow your spouse (or future spouse or relatives) to control this on your behalf - then you won't be able to waste this money anymore - you have to do this if you ask me, it's just so mandatory - otherwise you would find yourself dealing with a vicious cycle ... start by letting go of the control of your finances, then move on with some therapies later on (there are so many but first clean your mind).

Good luck!

 

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On 2/26/2017 at 0:38 AM, Hayley07 said:

So my life is a mess, About a  year ago I put money on an online gambling website thinking I'll win loads of money, i have a good job it's average pay, I work my arse off and at the end of the month I have nothing to show for it expect tears and that horribale feeling in my stomach. I've gambled a lot and hid it from my gf she's finally found out and begged me too stop, I though I could get a hold on it but I was so wrong, it's got to the point were I'm spending literally all my wage the same day I get paid and having nothing left with in a couple of hours, the more I put it the more I think I'm going to win it back.I'm 27 never though at this age I would be in such a mess, cant save for a house which my patner wants, I keeping letting her down and breaking her heart, it's took me so long to realise it's became a big problem,today I gamble 600 on online slots  I thought I had it sorted paid for driving lessons, bought a couple of things I was flying then I sat down for five minutes and though I could win what I've spent on joining a new casino website "beginners luck" the more I put it the more I lost the more I put it again, so I'm left with 20 for the rest of the month no money to get to work no money to pay for food for work, no social life again, made plans with friends now I'm going to have to tell another lie as I can't go, this is a dreadful feeling,  the worst part about it is I've told my gf and now she's can't deal with this anymore which she is right I'm a mess and can't be trusted with money anymore, that's over best thing that's happened to me and I chose to gamble instead. 

I hate this feeling and want this all to stop but I just don't know how, I'm embarrassed and ashamed to tell anyone so o thought maybe this could work 

 

This is pretty much true. Im not ashame of it. I give all my money to my girlfriend because i know she can manage it well more than i can do.

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